Have you ever made a decision that logically made sense, then a few days later got confused because your heart was telling you something opposite?

Then you’re stuck, act indecisively, and piss off those around you. — stop it! ~ IbraDanCreative Yup! Opinion

A few years back, I followed my heart to pursue the man of my dreams, but logically, the seemingly impossible obstacles we had to overcome to live together kept suggesting it made no sense at my age to take such risks. I was confused!

But understanding my personality type and the contradictions of my decision-making style helped me commit fully and move forward in making a committed decision.

“The issue is not necessarily which decision you make — as both yes or no can produce pro and con outcomes. The challenge is to OWN your decision with a positive sense of no turning back.”

Once you’re clear in your conviction, the next step is to create and implement a plan.

Once you decide, don’t second guess yourself — Own it and push forward!

Or as someone once wisely said, ‘Take a shit or get off the potty (Fish or cut bate).’

So I said fuck it to logic, ignored well-intended advice from family and friends and threw everything I had into building my new and extraordinary relationship. — I followed my heart instead of my head.

There you have it, my friend. I found the man of my dreams; I read somewhere; If you’re going to walk on thin ice, you may as well dance,’ or as the other cliche goes; You only live once and life ain’t a dress rehearsal. — I love those two points.

I’m down for doing the crazy shit my man and I aim to experience together; even if things turn out vastly different than expected, so be it. But, ultimately, we’ll push on with smiles, knowing we gave it our best shot.

“You can never go wrong when doing what matters to live proudly, love and learn on your terms.”

What about you? Do you listen to your head or heart (or vice versa) when making epic decisions?

Either choice is correct as long as you consciously decide which element will be the driver and tell the other to take a back seat. It’s fair to feel a slight unease along the way.

Then pay attention to the dynamics of your personality type and decision-making style!

— Keep reading; I’ll explain further.

Be aware of your personality type as you work through significant changes in your life.

Bringing more joy into your existence is a derivative of creating and living out the ultimate choices for you and your loved ones.

“The aim is to live, love and learn on your terms without getting stuck along the way. Life is much more inspiring when you get excited over the things you’ve always wanted to do.” ~ Daniel-Ibrahim

When you’re uneasy and anxious about deciding, don’t give up.

• Think about something you’ve always wanted to do but are apprehensive about trying. Something that’s a bit wild and scares the hell out of you.
• The more freaked you are, the more likely you’re onto something epic or life-altering.
• Anything goes; Start or leave a relationship? Quit your job to launch something new? Pack your bags and take a journey halfway around the world. Buy a sailboat? — what will it be before you’re too dam old or, yet worse, dead?

Even if it’s a hunch, don’t worry about the details at this early stage. Instead, dream and capture your best ‘what if’ ideas, thoughts and feelings — definitely journal.

• Do you have an existing idea that needs a new twist or is taken to the next level?

What would you do if the doctor said you had five years to live, came into extra money, or suddenly were cast into early retirement?

I’m not suggesting you quit your job tomorrow or drop everything to travel the world as a missionary (although other people have). Take somewhat calculated risks, not reckless ones. So — start deciding!

Ask What if…?

Capture your what if…? wild ideas on paper. Jot down the first thing that comes to mind.

Don’t make this about the stuff you want; focus on what you wish to experience.

Here’s my shortlist; — show me yours!

• What if I worked and created ‘something’ (not knowing what at this point) while living in a warmer climate for at least three to six months of the year?
• What if I bought a sailboat, lived and worked on her for at least four months of the year?
• What if I left my partner (an amicable divorce) and we remained best friends for life?
• What if I lived with the man/woman of my dreams, and we did unbelievably good stuff together?
• What if I could turn my creative endeavours into a financially sustainable business that my partner and I ran?
• What if, when 90, I was still full of vitality and stamina because I always cared for my health?
• What if I designed and built an environmentally sustainable home in a much less expensive, warmer part of the world and produced a video journal about the project story?

I could go on and on….. this is fun. Now you try!

When brainstorming, let details such as how much and how you’ll get there come later.

Remember your personality type may profoundly impact your decision-making style and cause angst.

For example, the head v/s heart conflict I mentioned earlier is a big one for my personality type. However, it’s less of an issue for others.

“When the unknown is calling you, answer the call. Don’t hang up. Explore what matters to you most.”

The aim is to do what matters to LIVE, LOVE and LEARN on your terms and the terms of those nearest and dearest to you before you kick the bucket.

Does your personality impact the decisions you make?

Understand how your personality type affects your decision-making style.

The Myers-Brigs Company, the official MBTI tool distributor, discusses the 16 MBTI personality types here https://eu.themyersbriggs.com/en/tools/MBTI/MBTI-personality-types;

Check it out!

The Myers-Briggs Type Indicator® (MBTI®) is based on Carl Jung’s theory of psychological type. It indicates your personality preferences in four dimensions.

• Where you focus your attention — Extraversion (E) or Introversion (I)
• The way you take in information — Sensing (S) or INtuition (N)
• How you make decisions — Thinking (T) or Feeling (F)
• How you deal with the world — Judging (J) or Perceiving (P)

Understanding your personality type and how it influences your thoughts, feelings, and behaviours is critical.

Self-awareness of your type will go a long way to realizing a better ‘good-ness of fit’ between your crazy idea and how living your idea impacts your happiness.

For instance, if you are energized by your outer world (extrovert being around people) and decide to live in a log cabin in the mountains, the isolation of being alone may result in not honouring the extroverted element of your personality, and you’ll be stressed.

On the other hand, introverts are typically energized by their inner world and are better suited for solitude.

“Where you focus your attention, how you take in information, how you make decisions and how you deal with the world are essential self-awareness factors to consider when articulating your epic dreams.”

Knowing my personality and decision-making style helped me deal with change.

For our purposes today, we’ll focus on the fourth element, ‘Decision.’

My story

Years ago, I found myself conflicted when making significant life decisions.You can imagine this screwing me up every time I tried to make a substantial change in my world.

I kept ‘flip-flopping’ my mind and could not stick to a decision; worse, I would second-guess myself all the time.

Once I’d decided, I’d be conflicted when the ‘other function’ reared its ugly head soon after.

“My heart would tell me one thing, yet my head would say something else. I kept changing my mind, which drove me and those around me nuts.”

So I went to see a counsellor familiar with my personality type. He suggested that based on my MBTI® type and scores when making big decisions, I was often torn between thinking-based logic (T) versus a feeling (F) or a person-centred approach and visa versa.

In my Myers-Briggs Type Indicator® (MBTI®) score, the How you make decisions — Thinking (T) or Feeling (F) scores were dead centre on the T-F continuum.

In contrast, with many people (not me), one of the two decision-making functions (T vs F) is more dominant, making it straightforward for them to decide things.

For instance, they have more clarity using their dominant thinking function when making a choice.

I was given an excellent decision-making tip. He told me I had to decide which of the two functions (T or F) I would listen to and notify the other less dominant function to take a back seat.

To this day, I utilize this strategy when answering the call to make a change in my life.

I’m grateful for my deep understanding of how personality type works. This self-awareness skill is an invaluable piece of insight I use when making Live Love Learn choices.

Why am I telling you this?

My advice is to be aware of your personality type as you work through making epic changes in your life.

Bringing more joy into your existence is a derivative of creating and living the right choices for you and your loved ones. The aim here is to live, love and learn a proud and fulfilled life on your terms.

Don’t just gleam over your newfound epic ideas. Instead, imagine the incredible potential and opportunities you are capable of experiencing, and DONT GET STUCK along the path!

A few exceptions on timing.

Timing is often everything. Someone once said, ‘Allah’s delays are not his denials.’ This could mean you don’t get what you desire right away because of reasons beyond your control or understanding.

Often a more favourable outcome is waiting around life’s corner. A no or not right now could become a yes to something better down the road.

Over the years, I’ve become keenly aware of the importance of respecting procrastination and indecisiveness. They may have nothing to do with my personality or internal decision-making conflict between head and heart.

Often, what’s at play is my intuition subtly telling me that an element of my plan may be missing or my timing is off, so I wait and keep exploring before making a final decision.

In the case of my new love, my heart was overwhelmingly telling me to hop on a plane and visit him soon, but logically, with the pandemic, flying made no sense at that time.

So I delayed my trip. But, in the end, I was glad I did because while I waited to travel, something else relevant happened — My intuition said, wait, don’t decide until you gather more information.

Sometimes things have to unfold and evolve. I’ve often said A leads to B, then to C. But sometimes, you can only plan for C once B has happened.

The timing of your decisions is an important consideration and may be a clue as to why you are stuck. There’s no harm in asking ‘what-if’ scenarios as part of the information gathering before making a final decision.

Change takes us to the future and helps us transition from one place to another. Change is necessary. Change is inspirational. — embrace it!

What’s calling you to make a change? Are you ready to go into the unknown and commit?

With love,