Pets are a massive investment in time, love and money — then they die! ~ IbraDanCreative GetOut! Stories

Perhaps my hesitation lies in fear of getting so emotionally close to a dedicated servant only to suffer the gut-wrenching sense of loss when they croak before your very eyes.

I crave a dog, but truth be told, I’m chicken shit to dive in and assume the responsibility. Perhaps that’s also why I’ve never had kids. So — am I a selfish person?

Getting my very own new puppy is definitely on my to-do before-I-die list. But I’ve got to get the timing right, so we can both die around the same period. (fuck I really am selfish — eh!)

If I plan (as if I have a choice) to die at, say … 90, and the average life expectancy of a dog is 11 years (according to Siri), Then I should get my four-legged friend in September 2039 — my 79th birthday.

What a great way to force me out of bed and take my daily walks before napping together.

Let’s get serious — I’m toying with you now (although my logic has some merit).

Better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all. — as the authorless proverb goes.

Closing your heart to love because of a fear of losing your lovi is an immature misguided approach to life. — don’t you agree?

A dog bit me once

I was bitten on the kneecap as a teenager while selling chocolate bars door to door for a school fundraiser. So I’m suspicious of unknown pooches.

Sadly most can sense my apprehension, which makes matters worse. I’m that guy that looks the other way or crosses the street when a big ass mutt comes walking my path. But once we both know whether we’re mutual friends or foes — it’s game on!

You either love dogs, which MUST be a part of your life, or you’re indifferent to them (whatever) or hate them. Yes, I know hate is a strong word, but I know a guy who hates dogs.

In his third-world country, they are wild, dangerous, disease-infested nuisances that eventually rot along the roadside — that’s his context, and I respect that!

As I write this, I’m embarrassed to realize that I may not be alpha enough to own a dog! For sure, they’d have me wrapped around their little paws.

So instead, I’m all alpha regarding my work and how I live my life. But, in intimate relationships, I become super submissive by default (don’t tell anyone) — a good trait (if you find a suitable mate) and a conversation for another time.

Being a dominant dog owner (a must) requires developing my not-so-innate ability to dominate. That’s probably why I’ve been making excuses not to get one all my life.

(Wow, I just saved $100 in therapy journaling)

Call me old fashioned, but at my age, it’s not easy to switch alpha/omega gears (unless, of course, you’ve severely pissed me off). What’s the saying ….. you can’t teach an old dog new tricks.

To me, dogs are like children. — — No, in fact, they ARE children.

That may be why I’ve never had kids, partly because I refuse to grow up. — but I digress.

I get that sometimes little munchkins start as an oopsie accident because you could not contain yourself one frisky weekend shag when you were both in love, lust or whatever label you want to attach to what you do between the sheets.

In the case of tail-waggers — should you have naively visited the puppy farm and held pure love in your arms for a few minutes? — don’t make eye contact or let them lick your face, or you’ll get possessed (by them). — hook, line and sinker. — you’re committed at that point!

Dogs own your ass more than you own theirs (a prison guard once told me — — wink wink)

Still, the unpredictability, sacrifice, and neverending focus on your new dependent makes you wonder if you have it in you to go another round after the last one croaked (I’m talking about the dog)

So forget for a moment thinking about the financial or emotional burdens that await you, for if you do, you’ll curl up in a fetal position on the bathroom floor, wimping at the prospect of never retiring, paying off the credit cards or taking that second honeymoon trip with your lovi.

Remember, there’s no worse pain than that of a broken heart or empty soul.

Parenting (so I’m told) is a 24/7 rest-of-your-life commitment. My biggest worry is that I have overwatered one of my plants or that there’s a tiny hole in my sock — again, I digress.

Would you have a kid if you knew they would die unexpectedly or be euthanized at around 15? — so then, why a dog? — just curious…..

“Hey kids, we have to take your little brother to the doc in an hour and have him put down….. yea, I know it’s sudden, and you’re doing a double shift, but it can’t wait, so put your big girl pants on and stop crying in front of your boss. And yes, we’ll get an impression of their little digits so you can hang them on the Christmas tree this year.”

Oh, and do you want us to spread the ashes in the back garden next to the shed, or will the park do it? — — What the fuck, people!!!

I’ve made my point with lots of love, respect and humour!

(woof)